It can be difficult to even think of meeting the family of a partner, and the knowledge that earning a stamp of approval is important can make it much worse. Those who have been together for a short time will be aware the family might not approve, so they could choose to wait. If they have decided their relationship will stand the test of time, they might believe it is best to meet the parents of their partner. For those who select this option, it could be an uphill battle to convince the family that the relationship is right.
Making arrangements for meeting is often left up to the parents, and they generally suggest a family dinner. This is done to allow other relatives to be present when a significant other is introduced, and it cuts down on the need to visit many different homes. It can be difficult if the person is not fully prepared, and remembering names and relationships is often a stumbling block for the potential spouse.
Old-fashioned courtesies are often observed during this meal, and it is done to give a form to help everyone cope with the situation. While many people dine casually when meeting friends, it is important to remember that this is considered a formal occasion. It is important to bring a host or hostess gift, and the potential partner should consider wine or a bouquet of flowers. It might seem to be an old-fashioned way to arrive, but it will lighten the atmosphere and show the family that thoughtfulness is a trait not forgotten by the pair.
Showing off is not necessary, but putting up a good front is part of what can be expected by both sides. The couple must show their best manners while they eat and converse with the group, and the family will do the same in return. It might take a while for everyone to relax, but the atmosphere will warm as they get to know each other.